i don’t know why i haven’t been able to muster up the enthusiasm to write in here for some time now. maybe it’s because i feel this blog has kind of lost its way … or, if i’m being socratically honest about it, it’s probably because there really is nothing blogworthy happening in my life right now.

“true glory is doing what deserves to be written, and writing what deserves to be read.”

the things i have in my life right now, are neither.

i feel like i’ve hit a deadspot in the the middle of a glassy sea.

i’ve tried flirting with this girl i met – i’m guessing she’s about 5 years younger – and for awhile it seemed like it would take off, but not anymore. a lot it is because i’m not all that keen to pursue it. i mean i want it, but i’m not committing myself to the chase. all i managed to end up doing was to create a hankering for something that will take off.

of course, all this is terribly unfair to the one i’m with. so i try to stay away from that particular hunger. still, i can’t stop thinking of this girl. for some reason, i believe she will bring the breeze that will push me out of these doldrums.

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I was scouring the ‘net for anything worthwhile to read when I stumbled on Barnabas Quotidianus. Now, normally, I’m not into inspirational writings, but Barney was so un-full of himself (like most inspirational type writers tend to be), that I read on. Scrolling down and down, I eventually came to this article he quoted, about something the philosopher Rumi wrote. It kinda resonated with me, and so the article ends up here.

Read it, and take away from it what you can. Or will.

There is one thing in this world that you must never forget to do. If you forget everything else and not this, there’s nothing to worry about, but if you remember everything else, and forget this, then you will have done nothing in your life.

It’s as if a king has sent you to some country to do a task, and you perform a hundred other services, but not the one he sent you to do. So human beings come to this world to do particular Work. That Work is the purpose, and each is specific to the person. If you don’t do it, it’s as though a priceless Indian sword were used to slice rotten meat. It’s a golden bowl being used to cook turnips, when one filing from the bowl could buy a hundred suitable pots. It’s a knife of the finest tempering nailed into a wall to hang things on.

You say, “But look, I’m using the dagger. It’s not lying idle.”

Do you hear how ludicrous that sounds? For a penny, an iron nail could be bought to serve the purpose. You say, “But I spend my energies on lofty enterprises. I study jurisprudence and philosophy and logic and astronomy and medicine and all the rest.” But consider why you do those things. They are all branches of yourself.

Remember the deep root of your being, the presence of your lord. Give your life to the one who already owns your breath and your moments. If you don’t, you will be exactly like the man who takes a precious dagger and hammers it into his kitchen wall for a peg to hold his dipper gourd. You’ll be wasting valuable keenness and foolishly ignoring your dignity and your purpose.

Thanks Barney.

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 hello new blog look

ah, neil. you chose the wrong person to tag, my friend. not that i don’t appreciate it, but i just have no one else to tag. my divergent branch of this meme dies with me.

i read alot of bloggers, don’t get me wrong. but i’m not big on commenting, so i rarely get noticed for visiting. i’m one of those digits in statcounters and sitemeters all across the world wide web. fitting, i suppose, for someone who goes by the handle anino.

once before, i did escape – for a short time. but i was caught and stitched back on. so shadow i remain for now.

and maybe that’s the first reason i blog: because i am still – after all these years – just a shadow of the person i want to be. writing helps me map out all the things that are in me, in hopes of finally finding the shape of me.

the second reason has to be because i can. i started blogging in 2000 and must have started up about 20 blogs at least, most of ’em on blogspot. and most of them never got past the 10-post mark. i’ve had at least two spectacular successes, but i’ve since stopped working on them. the point, for me, has always been the freedom to write what i wanted. push-button publishing for the people!

and speaking of push-button publishing, i also intend to write a book someday. my third reason. most writers have a tape recorder, i have blogs. someday, they will all come together, but i’ve yet to start the one blog – ash blog durbatuluk, ash blog gimbatul, ash blog thrakatuluk agh burzum-ishi krimpatul! BWAHAHAHA. … ehem.

i also blog because i am an opinionated sonuvabitch. enough said about that fourth reason.

and finally, the fifth reason i have for blogging, i blog because i really believe that these little critters will yet emerge as a n engine for change.  back in the day, the best we could do was yell at the teevee at stupid politicians and corrupt morons who ran the country. now, we can type. it’s a little less sedentary than sitting around in an overstuffed armchair (some fingers get exercise, and my wrists are becoming more muscular than ah-nuld!), and more satisfying because you’re not shouting alone. eventually, we won’t even be just shouting anymore. we will be making change. one keystroke at a  time.

I grew up listening to news readers on t.v. say tinÁtayÁ – with the ‘taya’ segment being pronounced as in “betting.” nowadays, news readers say tina-ta-ya (i really don’t know how to write tagalog phonetically, but i think you get the picture). now that is all wrong.

“tinataya” translates to “it is estimated.” Thus: “tinatayang aabot ang temperatura sa  tatlumpong antas ng sentigrado” would be translated to “it is estimated that temperatures will rise to 30 degrees centigrade. the key word ‘taya’ therefore, corresponds quite clearly to ‘estimate.’

‘taya,’ as it is pronounced to mean ‘bet’ carries the same sense – that of speculation. when you bet, you in effect ‘estimate’ the chances of all variables and based on that ‘estimation,’ you pick the likeliest outcome.

clearly, therefore, when we say ‘tinataya’ to mean ‘it is estimated,’ we must pronounce ‘taya’ in the same way that we pronounce it’s root signification – ‘taya,’ meaning ‘to bet’.

so why pronounce the damned word “tina-ta-ya”? ‘ta-ya’ means nothing. it is a rootless sound masquerading as a word!

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